September 30, 2012

After I pissed myself off on friday when i deleted, by accident, my blog post I decided to give it a break and do something else for awhile. So I’m back here  and although i really would rather edit anything before posting i’m not going to anymore. If i do it might get deleted again and damnit i spent over an hour typing on friday, I had a great post. Amusing and intersting it would have really gotten a lot of attention. (I’m lying it was more crap like what i’m typing now.) I did work on it for an hour though and i thought it was mildly interesting.

Anyway, my book or manuscript or story, whatever it is it should be called at this point is coming along fairly well. I have about 22-thousand words down on paper, I am pretty excited about what i’ve written so far. I wrote most of chapter one and then reread it and added a tons of stuff that i left out the first go, i think everytime i read it i add more to it. I told Fred it’s like it’s a skeleton right now and each pass I add more meat to the bare bones and before long it will be a living breathing work of art. Or maybe soft porn…lol.

My story has sex, a strong man who takes what it is he wants, a woman who faces her desires with both excitement and fear. She isn’t an innocent, but she isn’t some slut puppy from a hoochy bar either. He is a strong successful business man who throughout his life has always just taken what it is he wants. He has gotten himself in trouble a time or two by doing it, but he makes sure he has people around him who can take care of his messes.

I’m excited about getting this story down on paper finally. It’s been 12 years in the making. It might take me a while to get it done, but when it’s done, I know people will want to read it. It will be a page turner.

Okay, since I wasn’t able to fall asleep until 6:30am this morning and got up at noon, I’m exhasuted now. I have a long day ahead of me. I’m going to the gym in the morning. I’ve decided that spending three hours working out is a little excessive, so it will be an hour on the treadmill and maybe half an hour on the track, no swimming for me tomorrow. I’ll save that for Tuesday when i go.

It has been suggested to me that i spend a short time each day blogging, writing down my thoughts and “practice” my writing. I used to do that every single day of my life, I kept a journal from the time i was about 13 until i was about 37 or so.

Maybe one day i’ll share the reasons here. It’s an intersting story. My life has actually been an interesting one. I believe that it would make an interesting story to be read, i just have to wait for the right time to write it. So many secrets, so many….anyways.

Time to hit the sack. Nighty night.

Monday Sept. 24, 2012

Today I work on my Ipod and ripping music onto my PC to have inspirational music to write to. I have been working so hard at putting words down that i noticed they seemed very uninspired. They were lacking passion and drive. I think perhaps I can fix that. Music moves me in so many ways.

Its funny there was a time in my life when silence was the enemy, that i had to have the tv on or music blaring or someone talking my hear off or talking someone elses hear off. Now i so enjoy the silence. The sound of my own thoughts often interst me. I’m finding I rather like myself, the things I think about.

I used to “write” stories in my mine all the time, bringing characters to life but never putting them on paper, never truely finishing any one store, the thrill of a new story is what kept me doing it. Now i wish i had taken notes, done outlines, molded these characters into amazing personalites in stories. The music i’m listening to is inspiring me again.

After I take lunch to my Sir I will turn the music up and rewrite the last chapter I wrote and make it sizzle, pop and explode with passion and desire.

When I was younger I spent hours and hours role playing on different Mushes. I would listen to Kenny G’s “The Moments” CD. I remember one scene in particular that i did to that CD to this day I can feel the passion, actual tears streaming down my face as i role played the scene to this music. It was the most amazing rp i had ever engaged in. I doubt that i could ever recapture the scenes, my role play partner was amazing, passionate and filled with incredible imagination. Unfortunately within a week of that scene his character was killed and our role play was never the same once he created a new character in the game. Its funny how that works.

I miss the days of incredible role play i used to get into. It was so much fun and I would spend hours and hours every day just moving my character along, loving, hating, building relationships and finding inspiration in everyone I role played with.

Oh but i get side tracked so easily. *deep breath* it’s time to do some real work, get some book writing done.

I have so little knowledge of how to anything i might write published. Thankfully I have a friend who is actually published who has agreed to help me find my way in the wide world of publishing.

I love my life right now…such a wonderful way to spend your days…listening to music, taking time out to go to the gym, taking lunch to your honey and writing your hearts desires for one day everyone to read. How did I ever get this lucky?

I am looking foward to Wednesday, I’ll go get a manicure, my pedicure still looks fantastic so no need for another one for a little while.

I have started thinking about the holidays. Where to spend them now that all my kids dont’ live in the same cities anymore. I think i will spend Thanksgiving with my girls and Christmas with my boys. Well not just my boys, cause my youngest son lives with my oldest daughter. Decisions decisions…i want all my kids with me on the holidays…I think i know how my parents felt when my sister and brother and I got older and didn’t consider what they wanted for the holidays…oh to go back and be able to fix those stupid days.

Uh Oh my ADD kicked in and i wander off on different subjects, it’s great sometimes but often it makes my writing so disjointed and confusing. Oh well…I will just have to work on it.

More tomorrow, I am working on an actual schedule to follow to get everything i want to get done when i want it done, instead of like now …when i get to it, it might get done.

 

September 20, 2012

Why is it when I sit down to write something here I write then delete a dozen times before I can decide just what it is I want to write about. Life is sort of like that for me. There is so much I want to do, but actually doing it is so difficult.

I have started trying to put all my book notes into some sort of order. There are thousands upon thousands of pages to go through I never realized how much we were writing until now. Over a decade of writing to go through, I would imagine I have at least 3 very large books in all the stuff we have written.

We…makes you wonder who the we is? His name started out being Robert Wayne, then as we wrote it changed the just Richard. I never knew what his real name was or where he was from or what he did for a living, we would take turns writing chapters in “our” book. Our fantasy life if you will. That is what my book is going to be about. The story inside the story.

Allie was/is my alter ego. She was/is everything i ever wanted to be. She was young, beautiful, smart, fearless. I intend to bring her to life for my readers. To make them want to be her as much as i always wanted to be her.

I have my work cut out for me. My dear friend Robert/Richard has given me complete control of this story, I own it all, but could not have done any of it without him. We grounded each other, his writing is harsher then mine, gritty, sometimes over the top and often times too sexual and pornographic to believe i could get away with actually putting in a book.

I will travel the path to writing this book alone, with all the fond memories of the love I had for Robert. He kept me going through some of the roughest times of my life.

Time to put pen to the paper and write. (oh if only that were the way it still was.)

 

( I do not have the best grammer or the best spelling skills but I will have a great editor eventually who will fix all my screwups…so please bear with me until then.)

Hello world!

Day One…

I am not sure but I would imagine that starting a blog is one of the hardest things to start…not because I don’t want to blog…but because the first blog can set the tone for all the rest of your blogging life. First impressions if you will.